Your tits are I can't wait for
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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