I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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