I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
