porn star boner night. come get it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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