pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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