I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize