We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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