R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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