Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
