im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
