bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
