In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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