sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
