is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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