Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She's the barista slut.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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