we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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