is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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