i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just saw a hot homeless man
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
