that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
