i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize