I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
