i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
