It's Friday. Sex?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize