She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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