remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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