I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
