the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
