I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
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