some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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