the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize