I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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