I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
