Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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