we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No subtext here. People are naked.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
