You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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