so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
