just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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