the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
