You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
