tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
