Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
