I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
