Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
