found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
