I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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