i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
