Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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