I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
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