i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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