will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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