No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
