I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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