i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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