That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
