I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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