that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
