I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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