Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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